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First date turn offs

September 22,2018 1 comments

Well, it goes without saying that first date jitters are a common thing in our present times: maybe with a long time crush or someone you just met. More often than not we’re still hit with a case of nerves when it comes to meeting our dates outside of our social media sites. What are we to wear? What are we to say? Where are we to go? It is all a labyrinth of questions that fly around our heads as we get ready for the big date. You just have no idea of what is going to transpire.

Therefore how do you know if you’re going to score a chance for a second date? Well, when it comes to first-date turn-offs, it turns out that there are some habits that both men and women alike will think are deal-breakers. Being late without an apology? That is totally disrespectful. Getting to the date drunk, who raised you? Talking about an ex? Go see a shrink! If you're hoping for a second date, watch out for these first date turn-offs.

Just moving too fast. This is just the first date! Why are you asking questions or acting like you guys are getting married? The date has not lasted two minutes and you are already talking about owning a house together, having kids and garden weddings. I know some of you like to cut to the chase so that you know if the date you have is right for you or not.  One thing you are forgetting is that this is the first date, not a review of your five-year plan. Overwhelming a guy with your preferred baby names or your desired area of residence once you get married is only going to make your date see the word “INSANE”, rather than love at first sight. Stop pressuring yourself to have a timeline for the rest of your life, and let things come naturally. If your reason for settling down is because you feel you have to, you’re not settling down, you’re settling for what is available.

Being late is a total turn off. Waiting sucks.  No one has that type of time and patience. All you are portraying to your date is your level of irresponsibility. Of course, there are always extenuating circumstances beyond your control, like you ran into an accident on your way over, or you happened to bump into Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson and needed to get his autograph and a quick selfie with the great hustler. All in all, being late is a big no-no.

Constant bickering and complaining. The place is too cold, the waiter is too slow or the food was too salty. It. makes it seem like you are constantly dissatisfied and disappointed with everyone and everything around you. If you're going to be negative on the date, then someone will be right to assume that you are always negative and always finding faults in everything. If you are honestly not having a good time, find a way to cut things short. If not, keep your whining face away.

A poor hygiene. If you’re smelling like you haven’t showered in a few months and your hair looks like it was leaked by a lactating dairy cow, don’t be surprised if you don’t get a call or a text the next day. Poor hygiene is known to be a major turn-off for anyone on a first date because it says a lot about how much you value yourself. If you can’t be bothered to brush your teeth or clean the funk out, they can only imagine what nastiness is lurking underneath your clothes! Maybe you have a few cockroaches under your armpits and egg-laying lies in other areas that we will not mention.

Being engrossed in your phone. If you're the type whose phone is permanently welded on their hands, then do not bother leaving your house to go to the date. In our tech-savvy society, being on your phone during a first date is a huge turn-off for any sane person. Whether you’re taking the perfect, you know the one you will upload to your WhatsApp status or an Instagram-worthy photo, or texting other people during the date, being on your phone all the time can read like you’re disconnected and disengaged from wherever you are and whoever you are with on a date. It is just a bad example of your bad prioritizing and bad manners when you choose your phone over your physical date. It is something you need to stop as soon as possible. If you feel like your phone is too tempting then you can leave it at home or just stay home with it. 

Bad manners. So many things amount to bad manners: talking very rudely to the waiter or waitress, bragging like the sport light is just set on you, constantly rumbling with food in your mouth or just talking on nonstop without letting your date talk. How you treat others and how you act in public places says a lot about your image. Always say please and thank you.

Talking about your ex. To be honest this is right up near the top of the list of the first date turn-offs. If you’re on a first date with someone new, why are you bringing up your ex in a conversation? You’re clearly not over them. Why would you even be thinking about them in this situation? Much less bringing them up around someone new. If you’re bringing up your ex on a first date, you’re letting your date know that you’ve already begun comparing the two of them, and seeing how your date is lacking in all areas your ex-was good in. Or, if you’re not pining over your ex, you’re complaining about them, which is almost worse, because it gives your date a look at what it’s like to not only date you but to break up with you, too. Hard pass. Just consider this first date as a new slate, where no emotional baggage is allowed. Your dignity and mental health will immensely thank you.


Deogracious Oliech Oginga

Where there is a will there is a way..

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