I recently ran into Mercy. She was my friend in campus throughout all the troubled years of study. I took her out for lunch and we started catching up on what we have been up to over the years. Somehow, the conversation reached the point where we discussed our mutual friends and what they have been doing. Then the conversation rested on Cynthia. I once had a huge crush on her. I asked Mercy about Cynthia.
"Cynthia is working in Kisumu. She was employed by as a Human Resource manager in some big company. I keep forgetting its name," she said, "By the way, she had a big crush on you back in the day."
I could not control my laughter. Whatever she was talking about left me in stitches. I knew for a fact that Cynthia did not like me that much, let alone to have a crush on me.
"Mercy, you need to get your facts right. Cynthia had a crush on Kevin. They even dated for a while," I said, obviously intrigued by what she was talking about.
"Boy I have my facts right, I'm sure of what I am saying. She was my bosom friend. We talked about everything and anything. Most of the time all she talked about was you," she said.
Well, this new piece of information caught me by surprise. Judging by Mercy's seriousness, it seemed to be all true. Later in the evening, it got me thinking: girls are strange, women are strange. Anything feminine be it a cat, rat, bird, lion or elephant has some degree of strangeness and uniqueness to it.
Cynthia never showed me a sign, not a single one, that she liked me. As far as I am concerned, I thought she considered me as a brother more than a friend. I was cocksure the thought of a relationship never crossed her mind. It is what my generation calls bro-zone.
All I remember is that she kept asking about my buddy Elijah. She said he had soft curly hair that felt great between her fingers and well-shaped athletic legs, arms and chest. She went on to add that she found all that a complete turn on. She said that Elijah had that manly appeal that she wanted.
Trust me, there is nothing as awkward as a woman who you have a crush on, elaborately telling you that another man has a manly appeal. Which begs the question, what appeal do I have? A woman's appeal or a child's appeal? Or do I have a half-manly appeal? Maybe a quarter manly appeal. Or worse, I have no appeal at all!
To be honest, I had a stirring liking for Cynthia, but when she started talking about Elijah's manly appeal, I gathered there was no need to embarrass myself and so I took my unmanly and unappealing self and disappeared. Moreover, Elijah was like a brother to me and his joy was my joy. As the saying goes, your brother's Lamborghini is your Lamborghini. I ended up hooking them up though their relationship did not last as long as I expected.
This is why it baffles me when seven years later I am told that Cynthia had a crush on me. I was slightly peeved at girls and their mixed signals. Why a girl would summon the courage to tell me she likes my friend's manly features while she has a crush on me still surprises me. What did she expect? That by telling me she liked another man's chest, legs and arms I will be filled with an insatiable urge to pursue her and make her love my unmanly features? HELL NO! Did she think that by revealing that to me I would fight for her love? Another HELL NO!
It is still a wonder to me how women, like chameleons, can craftily camouflage their feelings. They can be very rude to a man they want. They can ignore or sneer at a man their hearts burn for. They will basically do things that act as red flags to men not to even attempt getting near them but still be burning with desire for the same man they push away.
When the man finally backs off, they go around telling their friends that he is poor at reading signs. Well, if you slammed the door shut in my face, however insane I am, I would not take that as a welcome, would I?
To be honest, why do women have to give complicated signals? I am not trying to say that you throw yourselves at us, but personally, I think it would be better if your head would tilt to the right if you liked us. Or if your breasts would move up and down every single time a man you like walks past you. Something obvious at least rather than all these mixed signals. Men with the same opinion say 'ayee!'
The ayee's have it!